The Story of a Rose Bush

Once upon a time there was a newly married couple. As a wedding present to each other, they planted a rose bush in their front yard. Oh, what a beautiful rose bush it was. How excited they were to see the buds bloom to huge fragrant flowers.

As spring warmed the earth, the rose buds started to blossom and as sure as they had hoped, the roses were just as lovely as their love for each other.

Summer came and the roses were in their prime. The lady of the house loved to go out to her garden and cut a few roses to brighten the inside of her home. She had to be careful though, for the thorns were sharp, but surely as hard as she tried she still pricked her fingers more than once.

Autumn came and the rose bush was no longer blooming, but had quietly gone to seed. It wasn't as pretty as when it was first planted, and the couple were sad that it would be a long time before the rose bush would bloom sweet scented flowers again.

When winter came the rose bush lost all of it's leaves and looked quite dead.  Now the couple were sure that they had somehow killed the poor plant, and thought about digging it up and throwing it away. But something kept tugging their hearts, just wait. Wait and see what might happen in springtime.

It was truly a long winter wait.

Spring finally came one day, and the sun slowly warmed the earth again. The couple went to see their rose bush, and hoped upon every hope so see,.. yes? Is it true? The rose bush was slowly peeking out little green leaf buds! Oh how joyful the young couple felt!

The rose bush had spent that long cold winter growing it's roots to become a stronger plant. When spring finally came not only did the rose bush grow more beautiful blooms, but was a mightier rose bush than when it was first planted.

Every year, with much tender love and care from the married couple, that rose bush continued to grow strong and healthy, and produced many magnificent roses in return.

****

This story is not actually about a rose bush. It's about marriage. When we first fall in love, everything is beautiful, the future is bright, nothing could possibly go wrong and the couple believes that there is nothing annoying about the other.

Falling in love is easy. It happens TO us. It's like tripping over your own feet. You didn't plan it, it happened TO you. Same thing, except you probably didn't embarrass yourself over your clumsiness, or fell flat your face. And if you did, at least the relationship started off with laughter.
So falling in love, is like the rose bush being planted. The rose bush had nothing to do with it, it happened TO it.

What is hard to do, is stay in love. That is something you have TO DO. Just like the couple in the story, to take care of a rose bush you have to water it, prune it, keep bugs from eating it, cure it of any diseases, etc. In a relationship, you have to work at seeing each other, talking and sharing life's experiences, finding the boundaries, keep others from trying to sneak into the relationship, and support each other in good times and bad.

This is active work.

To keep that plant alive, you have to work at it. To keep the relationship alive, you have to work at it.

In every relationship there will be thorns. My husband has chewed with his mouth opened as long as I've known him. It's my biggest pet peeve and no matter how many times I have told him to stop, and he replies 'sorry I'm trying', he still hasn't stopped. That is one of my thorns. His thorn with me, well, he's told me recently that he tries very hard to fall asleep first, because apparently I snore if I sleep first and then he can't get to sleep.

Which brings me to this point. We as human beings are lumbering, slobbering, and down right smelly people. Yes, I know you're thinking right now, 'No I'm not!", but think about how you are when you are alone, and you know you are not going to be interacting with people anytime soon. You betcha sweet bippy that you are scratching in places you wouldn't in public, you pass just as stinky gas as anyone else who eats beans and cabbage, and since you know you aren't going anywhere or seeing anyone you probably are still in your pjs and hadn't showered. Yes? You're human.

Now if you have found someone who loves you in spite of all I have listed, that person is a keeper!

Marriages will always go through times of Autumn and Winter. Everyone has wondered "What if I had married that guy" or "What does so and so look like now?", or "OOOOoooo, look at that eye candy". That's normal. What makes it potentially harmful to your marriage is if you obsess over it, and look away from your mate. Yes, I know there are times you look at your mate and wonder why in the world did you chose them. I know that the thorn in your relationship is never going to go away and once in a while that thorn pricks you and it hurts more than anything and you think, if only I was with so and so, I wouldn't have to deal with that.

But let me tell you something. Everyone has thrones. They might be different thorns, but they all still hurt. What's important is being able to deal with the thorns in your own marriage. As much as I want to throw a screaming fit as I hear my husband crunching on each individual kernel of popcorn that I can hear more clearly than the movie itself, I know that if I do I'm not showing love to my husband. I'm not even showing Gods love to my husband. No, I would be showing every level of hell itself, because it's the most irritating thing he does to me. So what do I do? I protect myself from that thorn! If it's a movie I don't really care about, I'll play the computer with headphones on. I'm still with him in the same room, spending time, but I don't hear the deafening sound of popcorn snapping against my eardrums. Or if it's an actual movie date, I'll make sure to give him his popcorn early so he can get started on eating, while I'm in the kitchen making myself an equally crunchy snack that will, again, help me drown the sound, and by the time I get back the popcorn is half gone.

If you are working on your marriage, and you are going through a Autumn or Winter, know that Spring is soon coming. Know that as you both work at loving each other even though times are really hard right now, you are growing roots deeper into the ground and that makes you both stronger together, and as spring comes you will be a mightier couple.

My husband and I are going through our Winter right now. Because of the economy, he is working two jobs just to make the ends meet. He does this so that I can stay home and homeschool our children. It's important to us that our children are protected, and fully equipped with the armor of God before we send them out into this world. Our sacrifice to do this, is my husband and I only see each other three days out of the week. We've been doing for almost a year now. It's been hard acting as both parents and I have new appreciation for all single parents in the world. But this journey so far has tested my trust with my husband, his trust with me, the very foundation of our marriage and our love for each other.

In all honesty, last summer, when this journey started, I never thought I could handle it. How can I possibly sleep by myself? How can I deal with not seeing my husband everyday? How am I going to survive my kids!?

It was completely God. 

God is the center of our marriage, the center of our family, everything that we do is centered around God. It's only his strength that is keeping us going every day. It's only his love that keeps us in love with each other. It's only his peace that we know one day our Winter will be over, and Spring will be here again. That is a day I look eagerly forward to. I dream about my husband being home for dinner every night. I have a new appreciation for what my husband has to do to provide for his family, and I only love him more deeply because of his sacrifice. This is my root in the relationship growing deeper and stronger. Because of God taking care of us, I know that when our Spring comes, we will be a mightier married couple, more deeply in love than when we first met and we will bask in the treasures that are waiting for us.

Though Winter is a long wait, how sweet is the reward of Spring.

With Love,
Emily